sperlygirl

22 weeks...

i must say that this second time around with pregnancy feels much more grounded and present. with kai, i was so caught up in bliss for the whole 9 months (and still many days since) but with this one, i am much more acutely aware of everything - both good and worrisome. i have so many 'what ifs' this time around and some days i simply long for the bliss i felt before. don't get me wrong, i feel wonderful and so blessed to be in this position -- it's just that the worries, concerns, fears, and doubts seem much more real this time around. it is a lesson for me in trusting and letting go.

(i must admit that this is actually a portrait - as it was too difficult to set up without the help from j)

wandering...

i have said it before but i just love wandering around a city - camera in hand. i love the stories that seem to find me or the people whose stories fascinate me. as i passed this man, i wondered about him - how he ended up here in front of this cafe playing music? what dreams did he follow? what dreams did he let go? in his mind, where is he while he's playing here on the corner? all of these questions seem to beckon me and race across my mind in the instant that i snap the shutter.

as i write this, there is a collection of flutters in my belly as it is the time of evening when this baby decides to dance across my mid-section. in all of his movements, i begin to wonder and dream about what he will be like - what will his dearest dreams in life become? what positive mark will he make? will he dare to live his dreams?

in my heart of hearts, i can only hope so...that both my boys will understand compassion, listen with empathy, speak with honesty, dream with imagination, give selflessly, strive for change peacefully, and love whole-heartedly.

**may we find peace in our hearts and peace among each other - a tune to share**
'what we need is love to guide and protect us all...'

resurfacing...

last week i was able to spend some time at museums in one of my favorite cities. although on a field trip, there was still a sense of peace and awe that came over me as we wandered in an out of rooms absorbing the beauty and grace of the works housed there. i wondered about these master artists and where their thoughts might have been as they sculpted, painted, created. i marveled at their creations and their courage for bringing their visions to life.

finding a muse in the ordinary...

"No matter how slow the film, Spirit always stands still long enough for the photographer It has chosen."
~Minor White

defining myself these days...

lately, (oh,who am i kidding - this is probably something that's gone on for years) i have been trying to figure out what capacity i fit as an artist, how i can work to define myself as so, create a defining body of work, and then get out there via various avenues to see where the journey may take me. i have worked through a lot of the fears that seem to block and now i feel i am more in a place of plotting a course and a direction - towards the unknown. my end goals my not be lofty but be assured they will all align to my creative journey, of this i am certain.

now i face the harsh reality of doing so while working full-time, being an active mother (and a soon-to-be mother once more), wife, and lover of travel -- the challenge continues to be molding my dreams to fit into my life - none of which i wish to sacrifice nor skimp on any one facet. i know many of you sound like you may be traveling similar journeys. and so often times, it may be through your words, honesty, or vision that i gather strength, energy, or the will to plod forward. so for that i would like to simply say, thank you -- for what you put out there and what you share. thank you.

and would also like to share this wonderful quote that i came across recently. it hangs above my desk in my newly designed studio space, to provide a gentle nudge.

"A picture is not thought out and settled beforehand. While it is being done it changes, one's thoughts change. And when it is finished, it still goes on changing, according to the state of mind of whoever is looking at it. A picture lives a life like a living creature, undergoing changes imposed on us by our life from day to day. This is natural enough, as the picture lives through the man who is looking at it." ~ Pablo Picasso

**and i must pack this lovely tune for the journey**

sweetness...

he always asks me now as he looks at my belly, "mama, where's the baby?" before he lays his head down on my chest to cuddle. and then he tells me all of the things he will teach this new little baby -
"i can teach them to roll their eyes, color, and to play with my stick..." (the stick is a little olive branch we found the other day and have had to carry with us on every walk since.) oh yes, mi amore, you will be such a wonderful big brother - so full of love.

**a little tune that makes me smile and think of you & your little olive branch**

a tuscan spring...

there is no way to truly convey the beauty of this country- words or photographs simply cannot express the warmth of the people, the beauty of the land, or the riches of the earth found here. the green patchwork quilt of the olive trees, vineyards, and gardens that pepper her hillsides, the freshness and elegant simplicity of her cuisine, the warmth and kindness of her people - it is magical. for me, my heart grew here upon our arrival. my children were born (and will be born) here and my family essentially began here. for this alone, italy will always have a treasured home in my heart. i simply cannot put into words my love for this place. may you glimpse a fleeting moment of her hillside beauty here -- and may your life allow you an opportunity to visit for yourself (or perhaps, visit again). bountiful spring blessings to you and yours...

buona pasqua...

a simple altar - with offerings of fresh flowers and a glowing candle...when i spotted this i couldn't help but wonder what wishes and prayers were laid here with these beautiful spring flowers. spring is such a time for growth, opportunity, renewal, change, and wonder...as i snapped this photo, i sent out a little wish of my own -- may each of you find the strength, courage, and positive path you need to uncover what you desire most this spring. buon pasqua (happy easter) and happy spring! xx

extending a hand...

it is all the talk here, the devastation and loss from the earthquake in L'Aquila. my heart goes out to all those who have lost, or are in the process of healing and beginning anew there.  so much was lost there - in the form of human life, ancient architecture and art. but i do believe that out of loss comes hope - in whatever form she may reveal herself. i feel so fortunate to be living in this warm, colorful, and kind country -- and can only hope a small gesture of ours may in turn become a warm invitation of hope for someone who needs it most right now. at the suggestion of my friend, michelle at bleeding espresso, i invite you to extend a hand to help ignite the flame of hope. should you wish to help, here is one possibility. in friendship and in hope....

**a tune to extend the hand of friendship**

warm sunshine...

warm sunshine, sand between my toes, finding shells which become prized treasures, playing at the water's edge, breathing in the fresh spring air, watching kai explore the tide, uncovering a sense of hope and a moment of peace.

**a tune for a stroll along the water's edge**