it has been a whole week now that you have been sleeping in your 'big boy bunk beds', little man. i still have to blink when i walk into your room and do not see your crib. a teeny bit of my heart broke that day we moved it out of your room ~ a fleeting sadness at knowing you had outgrown it and a flutter of excitement at the possibilities that lay before you as you continue to grow.
such is the tug of motherhood, i guess. it's the tug i feel the least prepared for. and even now with your little brother on the way, i am caught once again by conflicting emotions. of course, i am excited at the arrival of another into this family but i am also a bit trepidacious at how your world will change. i know your heart is big enough and willing enough to embrace this new little person with love (although i am sure there will be moments). it is again a complex crossroads of tugging on my heart strings that i didn't expect now, nor do i know quite how to navigate.
so we just continue...we breathe in and breathe out, we watch the tides roll in and roll out, and all the while we keep our hearts open and love one another. that is the best i can offer, and hopefully it will do, mi amore. and i promise i will do my best, little man, to handle it all as you grow your wings and face this world.
*to my little yellow star ~ ti amo*
