life here has seemed as if it has shifted into hyper-speed lately and it's taking its toll. i have one sick little boy and a baby who is fighting the sniffles. we have been tackling one endless errand after another - that's the flip-side of living overseas. simple tasks that should be easy to accomplish often times turn into events that take upwards of a full day or even longer. we have had many of these piled one on top of another. top this off with a bit of a disappointment this evening, something that i had spent a lot of time and energy on this summer didn't make it to where it needed to. so now i am having to submit it electronically which will not have the same professional presentation that i worked to create this summer. that's a disappointment.
when i am overloaded like this it becomes overwhelming...and that's where i am right now. i am feeling uninspired and although i'd love to be painting - i am missing the spark. of course when that happens, my inner critics seize the opportunity and start in with their negative rantings.
i was hoping this maternity leave would feel as peaceful as it did with kai - but it has been anything but so far. i needed to just 'get real' here for a moment and be honest with how i am feeling. as blissful as i feel about having this little boy here - i am also juggling some of life's curve balls, bureaucracy, and hurdles. and some days i feel i can keep up with that pace...but this just isn't one of them.
