sperlygirl

inspired...

(detail from roy II, 1994, by chuck close - hirshhorn museum, washington d.c)

while on our trip, we were able to check out the hirshhorn museum and i was able to see a portrait by chuck close up close and personal. i absolutely loved this as he is a favorite artist of mine. i love talking with my students about his life and work and they are always riveted by his paintings both past and present. although i wasn't able to spend as much time as i would have like to in this museum, i left feeling quite inspired and lifted.

and while we are on the topic of inspiration, i have to say that i feel the same from the home-front as well. j, has self-published his first novel. a writer for the past 14 years, this is his first foray into this medium. he has penned about a dozen feature films, and come very close in many screenwriting contests. and before we moved overseas, he had delved into writing and directing his own short film. since we met, i have always been inspired by his focus and drive to tackle his creative pursuits from music to writing. he is a true storyteller. and i am so amazed and proud that he maintained the focus needed for his novel while balancing the role of stay-at-home papa to a toddler (and new baby), certainly not an easy task.

and then there is my dear friend, kt, who has taken her own creative leap and opened an etsy shop to house her lovely handmade goodies. it is kt who has taught me to sew and her shop contains products of her own beautiful handiwork as well as her magical photographs.

there is nothing more inspiring and motivating then to be surrounded by those who have found the courage needed to put their art, their visions, their words, and their voice - out into the world!

thanksgiving...

i know that motherhood changes your perspective on life, i expect that, but sometimes it has a way of doing so in the most unexpected ways. while in d.c, we visited the vietnam wall memorial. it is a beautiful tribute, rising out of the ground as it does. but as we walked closer, i caught my breath. i turned to my father-in-law and said, "i didn't realize the type was so small..." i felt my heart rise to my throat as i slowly passed by the rows of names. i was struck at the thought that griped my heart...what about all of those mothers and i felt the weight of their collective grief.

i lost my father at a tender age and discovered that with his absence, i lost my footing in the world. it took me many years to learn to step with a new sense of balance. the road has never felt the same since, but, i did finally regain my stride. being a mother of young boys, i gazed out at all those names on the wall and could not imagine the magnitude of absence all of those mothers carry. my heart reached out to each one.

this thanksgiving, i am thankful for all of those facing conflicts far from home and i am particularly grateful to their mothers (and families) who are faced with their absence, temporary or otherwise. i am grateful for their service. and i am grateful to have the freedoms that i do -  to speak my mind, to navigate and explore my own leanings, to be able to continue my education, to be able to express my thoughts and ideas freely, and to be able to openly question the world around me.

i am grateful to all of those mothers, whom i hope have found some way to gracefully regain their stride. sending many blessings and the warmth of thanksgiving.

washington, dc..

(a photo op at the white house)

and we're back from a whirlwind trip...a whirlwind for so many reasons. we visited washington, dc for a forum for the teacher's of the year - this trip was part of my award. and although hard to truly articulate, i met a group of wonderful teachers (and now friends), experienced and shared so much, and came home feeling empowered, inspired, and so proud to be part of the teaching profession.

we were able to meet up with all the grandparents for the week while we were there. and while i spent my days in meetings and forums - they joined j and the kids in exploring the sites and wonders of dc. we regrouped for dinners and lots of laughs as they rehashed the day's adventures.

i loved feeling like a tourist in my own country. having never visited dc before, i was truly taken aback at our nation's capitol. dc has a great energy and vibe. no matter your politics, you cannot help but feel such a sense of awe and pride while being surrounded by the roots and heartbeat of our american culture. it was truly inspiring...and a trip and experience i will forever be grateful for and cherish.

ten years...

i feel like i just blinked and there went ten years...but it began years before that. j and i have been together since i was 20. when i think about it, who i was then, what i thought my life would be like...i never imagined that i would still be with the one person who makes me laugh out loud, knows my most cherished secrets and my deepest fears, or who can make me want to pull my hair out in frustration sometimes, or who pushes me to be the person i most long to be (but can keep myself from), or who has given me a family and two sweet boys whom i adore, and who has taught me how to really love.

i look at our dresser and on top is a photo of j and i at my senior show in college. i see he and i both with long hair and that awkward stance of posing for a photo when you are newly dating, and next to it, is this photo from our wedding. i recall that november night under the pecan trees on the farm, being surrounded by nearly everyone in my world that i hold dear. i remember this dance, to this song, and thinking - wow, can life get any sweeter than this?!

and now here we are, ten years down the road. j's long hair is long gone but his creative passions and pursuits are still just as vivid. and i find myself surrounded by the one man and two little men whom i hold most dear in this world... and i think....was i ever wrong ten years ago, because life became sweeter still.

with all my heart, j, i love you more today than yesterday. happy anniversary. xoxo

a little red leaf of autumn...

(the leaf pictured here is not the leaf mentioned in this post)

the past week there has been a tiny, brilliantly red leaf nestled along the green grass that lines our driveway. each time i'd come home, i'd notice her there. it was as if she was there to offer a lovely, warm welcome. even though i was tempted to pick her up, take her inside, and pin her to my inspiration wire - i decided instead to leave her there so that i could seek her out for a glimpse of autumn each time i walked up the drive. yesterday we had stormy weather and very strong winds, i walked in today and felt a teeny pang of sadness as my beautiful leaf had blown away in the wind. part of me wished i had picked her up and brought her inside...but then again i felt her greeting was a silent secret handshake and was meant to be fleeting.

returning to work...

today i returned to work, my belly a flutter with mixed emotions (the kind that i assume most working mothers feel). i walked into my art room and was greeted by a roomful of colorful posters to welcome me back made by each of my students. my heart swelled, my eyes became teary, and i felt comforted and warm...and a bit more courageous about returning. motherhood is the most important job i have ever held - but it is not my only job. i work to create this lifestyle for us and i am so grateful that j is able to stay home to raise our boys (while still actively pursuing his creative passions and dreams - his creative drive has always been such a source of inspiration - more on that later). the relationship with kai he has fostered by staying home is truly immeasurable. so i return to work today feeling much gratitude.
 

along the seaside...

this is my most favorite time of the year, for many reasons. autumn always feels like it brings with her, the promise of a fresh start ~ change. maybe it's the crisp weather, the changing light, or the brilliant colors - but it's something, and i am crazy about it. i love being on the beach this time of year, strolling along the water's edge. the banks are nearly empty except for a few fishermen, a peppering of families, and some brave souls who are still attempting to sun bathe even though i pass by in a jacket and scarf! even the water seems full of promise to me. it's as if she holds the secrets of summer memories in her gentle waves as she glides upon the sands. the tiny seashells sparkle like jewels along the shoreline and i am content to simply stand there and gaze out onto her horizon.

two months...

where does the time go...friday, dear one, you turned 8 weeks. although the last month has been stressful with doctor visits and doing our best to heal your sore (and discover what it is exactly), it has also be infused with moments of peace. ryder, you are growing at leaps and bounds. you smile at the world around you, and when you do, it is pure magic. then again, any baby who waited for a full moon to come into this world must possess some true magical powers. and you have lucked out in the 'big brother' department because kai is crazy about you. you are already such an integral and important part of kai's world. when we drop him off at asilo (preschool) and place his "magic rock" in his pocket, he requires that each one of us, you included, ryder, give it a teeny kiss. he watches intently to be sure you are in on this with us! i just wanted to say thank you, little one, because you offer much wisdom from such a teeny babe, and i am grateful for that and grateful for you. ti amo!

"If the stars were mine
I'd give them all to you
I'd pluck them down right from the sky
and leave it only blue
I would never let the sun forget to shine upon your face
so when others would have rain clouds you'd have only sunny days
If the stars were mine
I'd tell you what I'd do
I'd put the stars right in a jar and give 'em all to you"

~If The Stars Were Mine, songwriter -  Melody Gardot~

**the tune, and many thanks to this lovely blog who introduced me to melody gardot, i am now completely hooked**

finding simple joys...

colors of an autumn leaf on the sidewalk

organic soy milk

grins from my teeny boy

"i love you the marvelest, mama" from kai

morning sunlight

a few stolen moments on my yoga mat

the scent of my oil paint sticks

this tune

uplifting surprise postcards in the mail (thx for organizing, pixie dust!!)

sleeping in with a teeny baby curled up in my arms