too often, with all our social media venues, we only capture life's beauty. i have no problem with that, in fact, it's what i seek out in my own life and here on my blog. but sometimes a dose of life's not so pretty side is a portal for truth and vulnerability and i am sitting right there in the middle of those two.
for the last four weeks, the pirates seem to have caught some nasty viruses. we have had ear infections, strep throat, a stomach virus, chest x-rays, and yet another ear infection (hoping this one doesn't wind up with a ruptured ear drum...had a bit of concern this morning but so far so good, fingers crossed). i have tended to kai, ryder and j as they passed around germs and i seemed to stay immune...until today, when the plague finally found me.
couple this with the undercurrent of nostalgia that comes at this time of year and the ripple of emotion as we notice the passing of time. it was just a year ago that we unexpectedly lost a dear and most treasured friend, leaving a hole that will never fill, and disbelief that time has ticked on so at a moment when our worlds seemed to cease to rotate.
this is when life overseas becomes not so glamorous and when you long for simple comforts from home. this is when the gray days feel damper, darker, and drearier. this is when you write a post and hover over the delete key for fear you sound like you are being totally over-dramatic, which you are, but it's still real. it's that rawness that feels even more so when you are sick.
it will pass, we will heal and viruses will go, our friend is always remembered this time and more (and by so many who loved him), the weather will once more find the sun, it always does. but for now, i am owning this moment of vulnerability and all her tenderness.