sperlygirl

sette anni

il mio tesoro,

buon compleanno! the world is not always an easy place, know this. but you always have the choice of how you wish to experience it.

i hope you choose to seek out the beauty in it. some days this will be so very easy and you will feel completely surrounded by it. other days, you may feel as if you have turned over every rock in hopes of uncovering one small glimpse...and on those days, keep seeking, it is there, my love ~ always. 

take the time to find your words and use your words, they can create bridges just as easily and just as quickly as they can burn them. use your words to create bridges.

this world is a magnificant place - see it, discover it, record your experiences of it in your own beautiful way. meet others, learn from others, share with others, and do your part to make this planet a better one.

may you always listen to the whispers of your heart...

sei anni...

while the espresso was reeking havoc on my laptop, we celebrated a milestone birthday around here, numero sei. 

buon compleanno, amore

the night before your birthday, you had me tell you the story of the day you were born. you hung on each detail of my day up until the moments when you were placed on my chest - teeny, pink and swaddled carefully. and as i told you the story, it was if i was recounting a dream. a delicate and beautiful dream that i had and held onto, memorizing each and every detail. mid story, i realized i was telling you this as the following day we were celebrating your sixth birthday. suddenly, i felt a bit awestruck. my arms still felt you warm and small nestled lovingly there. we both gazed up at the stars above us on your bed...and laughed at all that tomorrow held.

kai, you are my greatest teacher. your beautiful tender heart is just what the world needs more of. it is my hope that you will always find a way to keep your heart open, welcoming, generous and abundant no matter what life may place in your path. may you strive always to seek possibility in every challenge. may you pause daily to uncover beauty in the world around you. may you never take for granted the healing power of nature. may you gain wisdom from the difficult times and savor the joyful ones. may learn the value and power of responding rather than reacting. may you learn how to confidently stand your ground without the intent to assign another your beliefs. may you appreciate the beauty and significance of authentically connecting with others and the world around you. and may you never shy from honestly expressing what is in your heart. 

*this tune is just for you as it reminds me of your fantastic dance moves*

and like that, he turned two...

this weekend, we celebrated a birthday - birthday number two for ryder. there was a cake with sprinkles and a candle that played happy birthday, presents wrapped in colorful papers, a dining room that kai stayed up late the night before to decorate with streamers, colorful balloons, and handmade signs. this morning there was one surprised little ryder who walked out and squealed with delight at all the colorful treasures sprinkled around. amid the gifts, there was even a very special original painting made just for ryder by his big brother.  

dear sweet ryder, 

you make us laugh each and every day. you are pure joy! you greet the world (and whatever you eat, i might add) with pure passion and sheer delight. we adore you and all you have brought into our world. happy birthday, little one!

cinque anni...

buon compleanno, tesoro mio (happy birthday my treasure)!

i am almost not sure where the last five years have gone as they feel like simply a flash of light - like the tail of a comet that zips across a star strewn sky leaving behind it only the memory of the sparkle. you are the one who made me a mama, a gift i didn't quite understand until now. you are a tiny teacher that brings new (and not so new) lessons to me daily. you are the gift.

i wish you a lifetime of wonder. may you continually seek out goodness even when the world feels bleak or heavy. may you create stillness and peace in your heart so that when life whispers to you, you are able to hear her wisdom. may you reach out to others with an open heart and a generous hand. may you discover and remember the beauty that surrounds you in nature. may you never forget the healing power of laughter. i wish for you to surround yourself with those who support and lift you yet challenge and inspire you. may you find what is that makes you truly happy and follow it with your beautiful heart. and lastly, may you always remember that you are loved.

*to my little wishing star...this one is for you*

un anno ~ buon compleanno, amore...

happy first birthday my little love,

i never knew my heart could swell at the seams so as it did on the day you were born. you chose your special day carefully, patiently, waiting for the moon to completely fill the sky. although the summer was brutal last year, on the day you chose to join us, the temperatures cooled dramatically to honor your arrival.

over this past year, i have kissed this little neck a million times and each time i am so thankful for your presence in our lives. you have found a big brother who adores you and relishes in your laughter, a family who is crazy about you, and a family of friendships who welcome you with much love. your smile is as radiant and bright as the full moon that greeted you from above on your first night in our arms.

and as we celebrate your special day this weekend, we wish for you a lifetime of happiness, a heart full of love and joy, an open hand stretched out in generosity, moments heavy with laughter, and dreams precious to your soul. we love you! xoxo ~ mama

eleven months...

dearest ryder,

it is hard for me to believe that eleven months have past by since you were born. while at the beach yesterday, i recalled last summer when i would gaze out onto the water while resting my hands on my very pregnant belly and dream of who you would be. and yesterday it was your little body, wrapped snuggly in a towel, sleeping soundly on my belly - your hair matted and scented with the sea - that i held close while gazing out onto the water.

it is your sweet face that smiles up at me each morning, eyes shining, dimples calling, arms outstretched that i look forward to scooping up and holding. when you come in with me to wake your big brother, he will reach out when he hears your giggle to find and hug you. although quite particular with some things in your world; you do have a personality that causes folks to stop and smile as your little hand waves to every passerby from your stroller. i adore your raspy giggle, the way you snuggle your head on my shoulder when you tire, the way you have figured out how to crawl, and the infectious way you laugh at your big bro when he makes you laugh.

you are pure joy, ryder!

eight months...

a ray of sunshine, that is what you are, ryder. i am amazed at how fast time seems to be flying past us this second time around. i admit i haven't been as vigilant at recording in your book as i was when kai was young. but what i have been is completely, uber aware with you...to soak up, to relish and to savor every single moment of your baby time. i cannot seem to get enough. rather than cringe that it is past midnight and i have to be up in a few hours ~ and you have no intention of sleep at the moment ~ i simply lay my hand gently on your chest and as your hold onto my fingers i remind myself it is only a matter of a little while before you won't require my warmth to fall to sleep, so i share the warmth that brings me. and just when i think my day has been tough or life feels that pull of a challenge, you greet me with a mile wide smile, and i get lost in that moment and it grounds me, allowing anything else to scatter into the winds like the fuzzy seeds of a dandelion carrying wishes. it is your lesson and your gift. i find wisdom in your teeny fingers and bright eyes. i find peace in your little body as it curls around me in the evening when you drift off to dreams in my lap. and i find unimaginable love as i watch how protective and concerned your big brother is for you. ti amo, ryder. xoxo mama

5 months love note...

to my little one,

(ryder ~ 5 months)

be sure to seek out the wonder in the everyday. be sure to dance outside in the rain with a dear friend once. stop and listen to the wind. stand barefoot at the shoreline, marvel at the horizon, and feel your body surge with life as the tide rolls in to meet your toes. pick up a beautiful shell but do not discard the broken one next to it - as there is so much beauty to be found also in those fractured pieces. be mindful of your burdens and respectful that others carry their own too. some may be obvious and others you may never realize are there...but they are. lead with your heart in whatever it is you wish to pursue but always remember your greatest resource is the knowledge you allow for yourself. approach all living beings with kindness - including yourself. always remember (and use) your good manners - they have the ability to take you quite a ways in the world. and do not ever forget the genuineness of an unexpected handwritten note. be thoughtful, mindful, fearless, kind, and above all, be happy, my littlest one. ti amo. xx mama

four, that's the magic number...

amidst coughing fits and germs around here, a very special day occurred yesterday...kai's big 4th birthday. we have been eagerly counting down on the calender every morning for the past couple weeks. and although illness postponed celebrating with our dear friends, skype provided a chance for us to share the evening with family and friends alike. the only 'must have' last night ~ banana splits! and did we ever do those up to the max - sauces, candies, sprinkles, whipped creme. pure pleasure. kai is so happy with the new status of 'big boy' that four seems to hold.

to my little man of four...may you always dream with your whole heart and then with all your courage and strength go after them, may you always find a way to selflessly help another, may you always believe in others and most importantly in yourself, may you take the time to walk out into nature to simply absorb it, may you find treasures on your way everyday, may you laugh from your belly, listen with your heart, question the world around you, defend you opinions with wit and words, cherish moments of stillness and silence, trust your voice, and most importantly...may you always feel and know that you are loved. xx mama

"None of us will ever accomplish anything excellent or commanding except when he listens to this whisper which is heard by him alone." ~ Ralph Waldo Emmerson

two months...

where does the time go...friday, dear one, you turned 8 weeks. although the last month has been stressful with doctor visits and doing our best to heal your sore (and discover what it is exactly), it has also be infused with moments of peace. ryder, you are growing at leaps and bounds. you smile at the world around you, and when you do, it is pure magic. then again, any baby who waited for a full moon to come into this world must possess some true magical powers. and you have lucked out in the 'big brother' department because kai is crazy about you. you are already such an integral and important part of kai's world. when we drop him off at asilo (preschool) and place his "magic rock" in his pocket, he requires that each one of us, you included, ryder, give it a teeny kiss. he watches intently to be sure you are in on this with us! i just wanted to say thank you, little one, because you offer much wisdom from such a teeny babe, and i am grateful for that and grateful for you. ti amo!

"If the stars were mine
I'd give them all to you
I'd pluck them down right from the sky
and leave it only blue
I would never let the sun forget to shine upon your face
so when others would have rain clouds you'd have only sunny days
If the stars were mine
I'd tell you what I'd do
I'd put the stars right in a jar and give 'em all to you"

~If The Stars Were Mine, songwriter -  Melody Gardot~

**the tune, and many thanks to this lovely blog who introduced me to melody gardot, i am now completely hooked**