i am joining andrea in her mondo beyondo journey here...
1. What do you want to acknowledge yourself for in regard to 2009?(What did you create? What challenges did you face with courage and
strength? What promises did you keep to yourself? What brave choices
did you make? What are you proud of?)
2009 allowed me to create our son, ryder, and welcome him into the world. i faced a pregnancy that had a few bumps along the way when i developed gestational diabetes and had to eliminate sugar from my diet and introduce insulin - it was here i found a renewed sense of strength and courage. in the realm of possibility of things that could have come up during a pregnancy, this certainly wasn't alarming, but it did require that i stretch out of my comfort zone and rely on inner strength at times. i promised myself that i would trust the process (and my incredible doctor) with this pregnancy and birth and i did just that. i am so proud that ryder was born before that epidural kicked in - always was curious what a natural birth would be like and now i know and can say that as soon as ryder met the steady hands of the midwife, i had a smile on my face and was completely full of joy from the entire process (i will also be truthful and say that the process itself wasn't necessarily easy or joyous but in hindsight i relish every life altering moment of it).
2. What is there to grieve about 2009?
(What was disappointing? What was scary? What was hard? What can you forgive yourself for?)
i think this is an on-going forgiveness - for not being able to juggle all the things i wish i could. i realize this is an impossibility and now i simply strive for doing what i can and doing that well while recognizing, breathing in, and savoring the simple details and joys in my life that can so often times (and sadly, so easily) be overlooked. what is hard? the realization that i cannot 'do it all' and allowing myself to be ok with this.
3. What else do you need to say about the year to declare it complete? Okay, the next step is to say out loud, "I declare 2009 complete!"
How do you feel? If you don't feel quite right, there might be one more
thing to say...
i can declare 2009 complete - and be forever grateful for the gifts and lessons she provided me in her abundant 365 days. i feel i began 2009 as one person and close the year as another - a bit braver, a tad stronger, a bit more wide awake, more creatively thirsty, more willing to leap, and most importantly - more full in my heart.
The final step is to consider your primary focus for the year to
come. What is your primary intention or theme for 2009? Is it the year
of joy? the year of self-care? the year of partnership? Stand up and
say it proud, "2009 is my year of...."
2009 is my year of birthing into this world not only my son, but a stronger spirit, a braver heart, a more solidified creative vision and a more realistic and gentler conscious.
